HOW TO REMAIN Unbothered in a Bothersome Society
@camelliangocbich
Why did someone else’s opinion matter so much?
Being unbothered is easier said than done, and I’m in no way a master at this. Truthfully, being unbothered is an entire art form and needs consistent practice.
“Whenever we hear an opinion and believe it, we make an agreement, and it becomes part of our belief system.”
— Don Miguel Ruiz
How can we start living life on our own terms, without being bothered by what others think of us?
Prioritize yourself first
Yes, the world does revolve around you. Who else? It might sound selfish, but that’s the point. This is the most important step towards remaining unbothered.
Prioritizing yourself means doing what’s best for you. Ask yourself, “Is this what I want, or what someone else wants for me?” If you’re doing what someone else wants you to do, you aren’t putting yourself first.
I would always put my friends’ needs above my own — even when it made me unhappy. Once I started prioritizing myself, I finally felt free. Who cares what other people wanted?
Do what’s best for you, and always put yourself first. No excuses! There’s no better time to start than now.
Get rid of toxic friendships
I can count the number of true friends I have on one hand. It’s great.
I’ve had many shitty friends in the past, and I eventually hit a point where I couldn’t deal with so many people. There was far too much drama, and I could barely focus on myself.
When you’re thinking of ending a friendship, ask yourself:
Am I happy when I’m with this person?
What does this person bring to my life?
Do I like who I am when I’m around them?
When you ask yourself questions about different friendships, you can narrow down and find who your real friends are. Not all friendships were meant to last a lifetime.
The fewer friends you have, the fewer complications you’ll run into. Would you rather have 100 rusty pennies or four shiny quarters?
Of all steps in the remaining unbothered process, getting rid of toxic friends has to be the hardest. You’re forced to look at your relationships and whether they work for you, not against you.
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE….
Mind your own business
What other people think of you is none of your business. It’s their own opinion and doesn’t concern you. Make sense? There’s no better way to put it.
I was always so concerned with how other people perceived me. Once I realized that other people’s thoughts are not my problem, I could take control of what bothered me.
Another aspect of minding your own business is keeping to yourself. Don’t bother other people with your drama, and other people won’t bother you with theirs. It makes life much easier.
Ever since I started minding my own business and keeping to myself, I can’t be bothered to deal with other people’s problems. I have my own to deal with.
Follow your gut feeling
Never forget to follow your gut feeling. Your intuition.
I follow my gut feeling by not overthinking. Think of following your gut as quick decision-making. Deep down, you know what you want for yourself. If you’re thinking about cutting off a friend, you know the right answer within the first five seconds. Did anyone come to mind?
“Following intuition allows decision and action to be made in the same instant.”
— Maria Erving
Whenever I didn’t follow my gut feeling, I was never happy in the end. My decisions weren’t based on what I wanted. I wasn’t living life in the way that I wanted to.
When you follow your gut feeling, you’re living life on your own terms — not someone else’s.
Don’t be afraid to say no
Lastly, don’t be afraid to say no to someone.
I’m a people pleaser at heart, and it’s always been a challenge to say no. I would be afraid to say no.
Part of saying no is about taking action over your life and feeling empowered. When we don’t say no, we’re usually doing it to please someone else. All you’re doing is taking on more than you need. Saying no means regaining control of your life and doing what you want to do.
This ties in with following your gut feeling. You know when the answer is no within the first five seconds. If you know you want to say no, speak up and say it. When you agree to something you don’t want to do, are you prioritizing yourself? Probably not.
I know it can be hard to start saying no, but it’s about doing what you want. Again, it’s all about you.
Final thoughts
If this year has taught me anything, it’s to start living life the way I want. Who cares what other people think?
“Do what’s best for you and always put yourself first.”
Being unbothered means doing what you want. It’s about what makes you happy, regardless of what others think. People will always judge you. It’s human nature. But what you do with those judgments determines how bothered you’ll be.
Of course, don’t simply read and do nothing. It takes work to be unbothered. Again, it’s easier said than done. But at the end of the day, it is all about you.
“I do not care so much what I am to others as I care what I am to myself.”
Shop our health and wellness collection:
You’re up next babe, be the first to know our weekly content and sign up for our Honi newsletter.
